Fight, Flight, or Loving Action. Types of Credit Cards.
Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano....
Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self.
Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships.
When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others' fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing.
These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others.
What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another's fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another's unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another?
This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action.
The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are:
1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid.
2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of another's fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot.
3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, "What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other?" Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others.
4. Take action on the information you receive.
Examples of loving action are:
1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing.
2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, "I don't want to fight with you. I'm going to take a walk and let's try to talk about it later." Or, "This isn't feeling good between us. Let's take a break and get together later."
3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself.
Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other person's fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
There are a whole variety of different types of credit cards available which can make choosing the right one a very confusing experience. In order to help you decide, listed below is a useful breakdown of the various types of credit cards available.
Standard Credit Cards
Standard credit cards work as you might expect - with the cardholder using the card in order to pay for goods and services up to their agreed credit limit. Repayments are made once every month which must at least cover the agreed minimum repayment. These repayments will cover not only the capital borrowed but also the interest and extraneous charges payable upon the amount borrowed, usually referred to as annual percentage rate. Standard credit cards should not be confused with debit cards where transactions are charged directly to your current account.
Charge Cards
Charge cards work in the same way as normal credit cards with one difference, the balance of the charge card must be paid off in full every month. Charge cards are most regularly issued to either businesses or to consumers who may have had a bad credit history in the past. If you have a poor credit history then a charge card might be offered to you because the full monthly repayments would preclude spiralling debt. Charge cards are also popular with the wealthy consumer as this sort of card can offer credit practically without boundaries. It should be noted that if the cardholder does not pay off their balance once a month as required then they could incur very hefty fines.
Platinum and Gold Credit Cards
Platinum and Gold credit cards are only available to applicants who earn a certain level of annual income and, accordingly, offer a number of benefits to the cardholder which will vary from provider to provider. Higher credit limits are usually associated with these types of credit card. If you fall into a higher income bracket and have a good credit history then you will be able to benefit from the advantages that such a credit card offers.
Store Card
A variation on the credit card, a store card will allow the cardholder to make purchases with a particular retailer on a credit account. The cardholder can then effectively buy products without paying for them until a later date, when it is most convenient for them. You will often be offered discounts on the goods that you buy with a store credit card but it should be noted that the interest charged on such cards are usually extremely high. This is an area that you must be sure to look into with prudence if you are considering obtaining; you might find that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Reward Credit Cards
Reward credit cards, or loyalty cards, operate in a similar way to charity cards except that the main recipient of any benefits is the credit cardholder. Incentives may include cash bonuses, points, discounts and Air Miles. With this type of credit card it is important that you think logically about the rewards being offered, and work out exactly how much you will need to spend on your credit card in order to reap the benefits.
Charity Credit Cards
Charity credit cards offer all the usual benefits of a regular credit card but also donates a particular percentage of what you spend to the charity to which it is affiliated. These charity donations are made at no extra cost to the cardholder and the card allows consumers to help a good cause simply by spending money in the way they always would. You can obtain credit cards for a whole range of diverse charities as well as organisations such as football clubs or universities.
You may freely reprint this article provided the author's biography remains intact:
About The Author
John Mussi is the founder of Direct Online Loans who help UK homeowners find the best available loans via the http://www.directonlineloans.co.uk website.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
OTHER INTERESTING POSTS
The Art of Music
Low-Carb Diets: Are You Losing More than Weight?
What Does Your Website Say About Your Business?
SEO Tips for Google
Smart Day Trading Strategies to Help You Make Money in the Stock Market
Website Sales: 10 Scorching Hot Offers That Sell Like Crazy
Top Ten Tips for Leveraging Conferences for Big SUCCESS!
Spring Cleaning with a Fresh Start
Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce
The second period in history of the Kremlin borrows time between XIV century and the third quarter o...
Your's is the first recipe...
This was the last native house to rule ancient egypt...
Further research pointed to the actual light truck d sport utility vehicle...
Wearever pans are a bit more expensive but recipe...
In Ayurveda there is a description of marmas massage...
